I’m So Not Sexy.
Summer has started and so has the tradition of relatives visiting from out-of-state. And with my cousin’s arrival, so has arrived an ah hah! moment. I watched her prance around in a bikini and her not so thin, two babies, and almost 50-year-old body. It didn’t matter an ounce to her that she had some extra ‘details’ that weren’t there when we were in our twenties. Because you see, she’s sexy.
I’m not sexy. I’m okay with it. It took me a long time to realize that some people just are and others just aren’t. Oh, I can sport a pair of ”come f*ck me shoes,” but what I really want to do is take them off and wear socks, because my feet get cold.
I can best prove my point by going back to my college days. I lived with a really sexy roommate. Her hair was big and blonde and sexy, no matter that she is Columbian and looked better with dark hair. She wanted to be blonde, so she went for it. She looked like Shakira and danced like her, too. Very sexy. I dance like Baby’s sister in Dirty Dancing, counting the steps. Not sexy.
And in her sexy Corvette, with her sexy plates that read “FLX4Me,” Claudia had all the sexy guys chasing after her. Yep, my roommate was sexy. She kept a scarf draped over her lampshade, and had about a dozen candles that she burned regularly, so the room was always in the mood. Her sheets were black satin on her king-sized water-bed.
My twin had pretty eyelet sheets that matched my floral comforter, dust ruffle, curtains, and white walls… well, you get the picture. Not sexy.
And cleavage? Claudia wasn’t well endowed, but she worked the push up bra like a pro, and wore it to class, the grocery store, and the study hall along with her animal print blouses, short shorts, and cowboy boots. It was the ’80′s, what can I say? But me? Fuggedaboudit. My girlfriends actually had an intervention to get me to stop wearing turtlenecks and to show off some my assets. They MADE me wear vee neck tees. I felt like such a flasher.
Well, that explains a lot. I love make up and hair and all that girly stuff. But I’m not sexy. Feels so freeing to say it.
How about you? How sexy are you?
